High School:
The Ballad of Ricky
Shamoose
Hear ye, hear ye, great and small!
Listen up, ‘cause this is a great ballad, y’all!
The Ballad of Rickie Shamoose
And the great terror that he set loose
Upon the Russian warlords
Once upon a time,
in the great halls of King Peeagled
A great evil
twisted and finagled.
Yes, my friends,
even great Kingdoms are corruptible
And this was true
even for the
An evil man, who
was one of the courtiers,
(who
happened to go by the name of Fortiers)
Got
himself the position of Grand War Lord.
Fortiers was in charge of
the huge Smuptible Hoard.
What remained unknown
to the king
Was that Fortiers was in charge of a Russian fling!
Indeed, the
Russians wanted to take over the
And Fortiers was the head honcho of the whole entire thing!
However, a
forgotten Royal Pastry Chef
Who everyone had
thought was deaf,
Got wind of this
diabolical news!
But instead of
saving country and king,
He sat down and got
a case of the blues!
The apprentice
poultry cook,
Saw his friend’s
sad, sad look.
“Oh my friend!”
cried Rickie, for that was the poultry cook’s name,
“what
is the matter. Is it your insurance
claim?”
“No, dear Rickie!”
cried the Royal Pastry Chef.
I heard the most awfulest news, because Fortiers thinks I am deaf!”
And the Pastry Chef
related the entire scheme.
“Fear not, my
incompetent friend!
I’ll beat that Fortiers, and again, and again!”
And with that,
Rickie gallantly rushed off
To
save king and country (despite his wheeze and his cough.)
He rode to the
great Wise Old Man
And
shouted, “I need a plan!”
The Wise Old Man, with eyes atwinkle, said, “Never
fear! Here’s one.” And he handed him a
paper.
He proceeded to tell Rickie, “You must hurry; go as quick as you can!”
Rickie read the paper as he rushed into the distance,
“I can do this without any assistance!”
He thought proudly as he read the instructions.
“I just hope there’s not much resistance.”
The instructions on the paper did not say much
“You must hurry to the
Take that rock and tap it with a gentle touch.
Then, at exactly nine o’clock
Throw it at that horrible Fortiers’s bonce!
Rickie hurried to the
And said to himself, “Well, here’s the finale!”
At precisely 8:59, the Russians rushed over the hilltop
Rickie waited till he could see Fortiers’s
mop,
He threw that rock, and suddenly, POP!
The rock exploded right in the middle of the Russian mob.
The Russians were routed; the kingdom was free!
All of the people of Kingdom Smuptible
Ran around Rickie, shouting, “We thank thee, we thank
thee!”
Rickie got a great big medal from the king
Oh Rickie, Peace and hope do you us bring!
by
Hannah Cochran